Off the Block 2015 - The Totherington Secret

 

This is where I ended up...

 

Richard Warwick and Daniel Creasey in "The Totherington Secret"

(Ian Legge Photography)

 

 

This is how I got there...

 

It turns out that this writing lark is harder than it looks.

I found this year as hard if not harder than the very first year.

This is my fourth year of writing for Off the Block...

Soooo...

At 7.30 on Wednesday April 29th I received an email from Dani at RBL:

"Well, here we go again... here is your start point and starting line. 

Your start point that has been passed on from our second writer, Beth, is:

 

She is unexpectedly, wonderfully happy. (feel free to change she to he if you like)    

This is only a start point and need not be an inspiration for the whole story line.

 

Your starting line that has also been passed on from Beth is: "Let's go home.""

 

I was also given info about the actors. This year I had four fellas...

 

Firstly...

 

There were two questions that needed to be considered.

 

1. Where are they (whoever they are?) as one of them wants to go home...

2. Why is someone happy? What has happened?

 

Soooo... reasons to be cheerful...

 

 

 

Hindsight is a wonderful thing! Listening to this only now crossed my mind.

 

The first thoughts scribbled in my pad were:

• Guy has had proposal accepted
• Guy has had proposal rejected
• Guy has just got a job
• Guy has lost his job

What started to interest me was negative things that might make you cheerful and so I spent the majority of the day thinking about schadenfreude.

 

To help me come up with a starting point I considered what if the person suffering schadenfreude is the reason someone else wants to leave - and where are the worst places or the worst occasions to experience schadenfreude...

 

So I drew some matchstick men...

 

Because it helps...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just so you know I had a full day at work this day. Five hours of teaching and my duties. I did incorporate this into my lessons and did some one-off creative writing workshops (which were mainly spent discussing schadenfreude - which students seem to have an intuitive understanding of for some reason...) We even came up with an idea for a character called Mr Schadenfreude which was very funny. I do think Roger Hargreaves missed a trick by not including him in the Mr Men canon...

 

This is Mr Schadenfreude.

 

He laughs at people in pain.

 

Old Mrs Smith has just tripped on her front step.

 

Does Mr Schadenfreude help her up?

 

Of course not!

 

He points and laughs.

 

Oh Mr Schadenfreude!

 

(If anyone would like to draw Mr Schadenfreude for me in a Hargreaves style I would love to see it!)

 

 

At the end of the school day I sat in my classroom and began...

 

It was the funeral that most interested me. Why would someone be happy at a funeral?

 

I considered the idea of someone dancing at a funeral, which would upset the others.

 

I decided that this would be the brother of the deceased... we would then work out what the deceased had done to provoke such a reaction.

 

So I wrote and I wrote...

 

The piece began to mould into a portmanteau moving forward and backward in time. Telling little stories. It became harder and harder to write... I slowed down and by 6pm I absolutely...

 

...hated...

 

it...

 

 

6pm

 

I looked at the drawings again and the settings...

 

 

An old haunted house had been suggested by one of the students...

 

I wasn't keen on possession but could a haunting make someone happy?

 

Hmmm... there is a moment in Poltergeist where the spirit of Carol-Anne passes through her mum and she suddenly feels happy.

 

And then I remembered this poem by Thomas Hardy:

 

The Glimpse
Thomas Hardy

She sped through the door
And, following in haste,
And stirred to the core,
I entered hot-faced;
But I could not find her,
No sign was behind her.
"Where is she?" I said:
- "Who?" they asked that sat there;
"Not a soul's come in sight."
- "A maid with red hair."
- "Ah." They paled. "She is dead.
People see her at night,
But you are the first
On whom she has burst
In the keen common light."

It was ages ago,
When I was quite strong:
I have waited since,--O,
I have waited so long!
- Yea, I set me to own
The house, where now lone
I dwell in void rooms
Booming hollow as tombs!
But I never come near her,
Though nightly I hear her.
And my cheek has grown thin
And my hair has grown gray
With this waiting therein;
But she still keeps away!

 

And it was from this starting point that "The Totherington Secret" grew. It was a very silly and very theatrical romp with multi-rolling, flashbacks and too many words! So sorry actors...

 

Ian Legge Photography

 

 

I finished at about 1am. Having written nearly half of another and starting the new version at 6pm...

 

On the Friday I was blown away by the quality of all the pieces. The winning short by Paul Houghton was about a mysterious poo on the floor of a posh house was brilliantly written and performed. The first main piece by Freddie Machin was a wonderful play within a play in which the breakdown of a writer's relationship infected her own entry in a writer's relay leaving her cannibalistic Vladimir and Estrogen like characters spouting inappropriate platitudes to each other in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Beth Flintoff's piece was an inspiring epic that dealt with mortality, family breakdown and growing up in a moving and poetic fashion. Her final line and action lead to my piece (of which more in a moment) and my own last line "Still, when in Rome..." and action "He holds their hands" was the starting point for the final writer's  (Paul Houghton) murderous chamber piece that ably finished off a superb evening's entertainment.

 

"The Totherington Secret" was very well-received by the audience. The director Thom Sellwood really got into the coarse acting and theatrical style required; adding some wonderful touches that brought it to life. The actors were all wonderful, energetic and clearly enjoying the madness of it.

 

The following photographs are courtesy of Ian Legge Photography.

 

The stunning Daniel Creasey and the fabulous David Bailey

The beautiful Richard Warwick as the Lady with the Red Scarf.

The lovely Max Roll.

The gorgeous David Bailey

 

 

At the end I managed to grab the actors for a quick photograph. They were exhausted! I do think that it was the maddest piece I had written yet...

 

Richard Warwick, Max Roll, Thom Sellwood (Director), Daniel Creasey and David Bailey

 

Thank you.

 

Until next year?

 

 

 

 

 



 



The List - Writing for Off the Block 2014 - A step by step account of panic, pain and joy...

 The List - Ian Legge Photography

7am.

Wednesday morning.

I am awake.

I run down stairs and switch on the computer. It is like the old black and white TV we had in the 80's. I won't be able to use it for 10 minutes until it has warmed up.

I think back to the previous years of "Off the Block" (Reading Between the Lines writers' relay).

The format is simple basically:

4 Writers, 4 directors, 4 days, 4 plays, a lot of Actors and only 1 day to rehearse...

In previous years I have managed a whole day but today I will be working. I will be at work...

7.15am - I am still waiting for my stimulus. (It won't be with me until 7.30am on the dot, but I'm still hovering...) I know that the stimulus will be the last writer's end point, usually an action or position, in the past I've had "On Hold", "Raising glasses in a toast" and "Under a duvet".

I'll have a quick wash, brush up and get dressed.

7.25am - Still nothing. There shouldn't be. It is supposed to be 7.30am

7.26am - Nothing. I shall prepare my notebook that will give me something to do...

Done.

7.27am - Nope. 7.30. It will be 7.30am. Says it very clearly on the instructions.

7.28am - Nada - sod this, I'm making a coffee.

7.29am - Still nothing. No need to panic.

7.30am - Making coffee, I can see the screen from here. I've turned up the speakers so the ping of it arriving can sound out like a siren of creativity. Hmmm. Nothing seems to have come.

7.31am - Oh. It's not here. Not here! They've forgotten me! Maybe I heard  the wrong day. Was it Wednesday? Check the calendar... Nope definitely Wednesday... I'll have to phone them.

7.32:01am - Seriously? Seriously? I've got 24 hours! 24 hours! Oh god, what am I going to do? How will I manage it? They've forgotten about me.

7.32:05am - Come on come on come on...

7.32:09am - Time seems to be slowing down...

7.32:10am - Seems to be running to a halt...

7.32:10am - Yep it's definitely stopped...

7.32:10am - Well this will be handy...

7.32:10am - I could get loads done...

7.32:09am - Whoah now it's going backwards...

7.32:15am - Back to normal... where is it?

7.32:20am - Oh god oh god oh god. I've got to leave for work in a minute... I can think about it in the car as I drive in. Lots of thinking time! I could work it all out... I just need the stimulus. Pleeeeeeaaaaaassssssseeeeeee.........

7.32:21am - Sniff...

7.32:22am - Stifle a sob...

7.32:23am - Tears pricking at the corners of my eyes...

7.32:24am - I'll never get it done... never never never never... I feel sick... I am going to be sick...

7.32:25am - Right I'm getting on that phone right now...

7.32:26am - Ping!


"Hi Chris,

Well here we go...

The start point that has been passed on to you is:

Someone taking a phone call

This is only a start point and need not be an inspiration for the whole story line.
We have thrown something new into the mix this year and we are asking that the final line of your piece be the the starting line of the next writer's piece, so as well as passing on your final situation we will be passing on the final line as well.

The final line that has been passed on to you is

'Everything here? Never better!'

This must be the first line of your play. Please ensure that your play does not exceed 20 minutes."


Wow. A start line too. Why RBL with these stimulii you are spoiling us... what wonderful people. I've got loads of time. Just loads. Tons. Thank you. I love you RBL. And what a fascinating first line too... hmmmm...

They have also sent me a pack with pictures and biogs of the four actors I am working with. What a handsome bunch. Two men, two women. One of the actors was in my piece last year. He's very funny... hmmmmm....

7.40am - On my way to work. Chatting away to myself.

"Everything here? Never better!"

Someone is on the phone.

Something is set up.

What is set up?

Something is going to happen.

"Everything here? Never better!"

"Never better!"

Something that this person is proud of. It's a good thing.

Hmmm, to make it interesting for the audience it should be a bad thing...

8am - I get out of the car and quickly jot down a few things before work starts.

"Phone call - who is on the other end?
-gangster
-relative
-relative who is a gangster"

I like the idea of the character on stage being polite and nice. This term "Never better" suggests that. But if the story is about nasty things that might give me somewhere to go...

There is the germ of an idea here.

"Everything here."

But what is set up? What is "everything"?
I am seeing boxes. Packing boxes and a phone. The phone rings. A man enters. He has a clipboard.
"Eveything here?" he says. He is about to start checking the boxes but decides to answer the phone first...

Suddenly it's not a gangster on the other end it is someone who thinks they are calling a naughty line for naughty people... we can only here the rather surprised reactions of the poor guy who has just picked up the phone. I write this speech in my notebook:

"(Pause.) Never better! Thank you for asking! That's so sweet. ... What am I wearing? Well, I'm wearing a tie... it's plain blue... (laughs) oh yes I'm wearing other things too, not just a tie, that would be silly... Well I've got black shoes and black socks... A white shirt and a plain but rather smart suit... My underwear? Gosh you're thorough."

That makes me giggle for a bit. But for the start to work it really needs to be a conversation that has already started and it can't be with a stranger to easily get the response of "Never better." Hmmmm
I shall think...

"Everything here?"

What is set up?

Is a character on the mobile walking in?

"Eveything here?" - is this said to people in the room? Then "Never better" back into the phone...

Work. Work Work.

11.15am - At break I have time to watch the actors' videos... I make lots of notes on type, voice, other skills. They really do look very good... the actors that is ... my notes are awful

.................................................................................................................

Later in the afternoon after work is done, I manage to find a quiet room...

The room is empty.

In previous years I have worked at home, in my busy and chaotic study surrounded by exciting things and been too close to the internet... there is a great temptation to procrastinate...

The room is silent. There is some noise from outside so I put on a Dunwich Radio mix to help blot out other sounds...

I think and jot down how the room is set up - again I am considering opposing ideas, things that don't go together...

"Torture/parents meeting"
"Chair with instruments"
"Summoning of the devil"
"Ghost hunting"

It is the "chair with instruments" that stands out. The room is set up for torture but the phone conversation is not only matter-of-fact but also very pleasant and British...

.................................................................................................................

And this is where I started and - for the first time for a writers' relay - this is the idea that stayed. I don't want to give anything away about the plot but it was a relatively easy write. The lack of struggle concerned me as I sent it off way before the deadline... eek. I even had time to watch an episode of Spiderman with the kids in the evening...

.................................................................................................................

I am very nervous on Friday. Will it work? The main idea is pretty outlandish, very dark and pretty darn twisted.

The actors are buzzing when they pass me to go onto the stage, they seem to genuinely like the thing! I check their eyes for any tells. They appear to be telling the truth.

The whole evening is super.

The winner of the Find a Reading Writer competition Casey Jay Andrews has written a stonking little piece, small and perfectly formed. It explores the awkwardness that arises when you bump into a former schoolmate who you never really liked in the first place and you're in a rush.

Bea Roberts has written the first full play, a fascinating farce set in deep space. The actors play with physical theatre very inventively to create a sense of weightlessness.

Casey's full play is next, a sublime comedy about scout leaders trying to quell an uprising. The petty and ephemeral hierarchies that are formed in such organisations are laid bare. My own children are at Beavers and Scouts tonight and I feel a shiver of recognition.

In the interval I hurriedly take pictures of my lovely cast...

Benedict Chambers - as "Martin"

Alexander McWilliam - Just about to go on as "The Man"

Lily Beck as "Lucy" and Sophie Caton as "Jill"

I am very pleased with my play and the audience seem to lap it up too. Little sad at the end that I don't manage to speak to Gemma Kerr who does an excellent job directing the thing. The actors are incredible, the piece demands a great deal of pace and is vibrant and funny.

 The List - Ian Legge Photography

 The List - Ian Legge Photography

 The List - Ian Legge Photography

Now as this is a relay when I finished the play I had to send on my own last line "How much was it again?" and the action "Writing a cheque" and so I am looking forward to what the final writer Oliver Bevan will do with it...

His piece concerns a surprise birthday party (he uses the last line and action in the ordering of drinks for said party) in which the guests begin to realise their mutual friend isn't as great as they realised. Filled with cracking lines and superb observation about the power certain people have over us, it is a great end to an amazing evening.

.................................................................................................................

What strikes me as I tuck into some rather wonderful brie in Macdevitts Studio at the end of the evening is how well drawn the characters were in all of the pieces. Both that and tight plotting are tough to get right when creating under pressure, so it is great to see how well all four plays manage this.

I hope to do get involved in future relays as it is an absolute tonic for the little grey cells...

Wyrd Daze - The Crucified Hare

My follow up to "Santa and the Witch" (published in January by tremendous zine Wyrd Daze) is the equally seasonal "The Crucified Hare".

Interestingly I created a tune first, came up with an Easter based title inspired by the tune and then wrote a story using the title as a starting point (all very Off the Block). In something of a departure for me it is set in medieval times and tells the story of a power mad Abbott trying to discourage paganism in his bishopric.

Check it (the story and tune) and other great stuff from The Implicit Order and The Field Bazaar this month in Wyrd Daze.

 You can support and subscribe to "Wyrd Daze" here.

OFF THE BLOCK 3 - What am I going to write?

Ian Legge Photography

Off the Block returns this Friday at South Street Arts Centre, Reading. Organised by the tremendous company Reading Between the Lines it is an evening that contains four pieces of work that have been written in that week. These pieces have been rehearsed on the Friday, all lines learnt and performed in a blind joyous panic that evening.

I won the opportunity to take part two years ago with my 2 minute short "On Hold" that you can read here...

Following that I had a day to write a 20 minute piece based on the starting point "Four people raising their glasses" I came up with "The Stranger" which was a brilliantly directed (by Hal Chambers) horror portmanteau about a Stranger granting three friends their deepest desires - which might not be things that that they would admit to...

Ian Legge Photography

"Chris Lambert's play was undoubtedly the darkest of the lot, involving three friends who meet a strange man in a bar and are promised their deepest desires - money, fame and friendship.

Ian Legge Photography

Exploring the ideas that we don't know what we really want, and most of our deepest desires remain buried for a reason, the play left audiences with plenty to think about." - Reading Post - April 27th 2012

Ian Legge Photography

I learnt an enormous amount from the experience. I was very pleased with the end result but felt sorry for the actors having to get their tongues around my verbosity in just a few hours... so I promised a bit more economy and...

...the following year I was given the starting point of "Under the duvet" and somehow came up with a sitcom about Jesus Christ called "Mr C." in which he gets into an argument with door-to-door evangelists.

Ian Legge Photography

"The packed audience roared with laughter at Chris Lambert's play, which saw the devilishly good situation comedy of door-to-door preachers coming face-to-face with a man who claimed he was Jesus risen from the dead, in a nonchalant and casual manner. With a deliciously fresh and contemporary script, the four actors each cleverly held their own in playing contrasting characters, in particular Alexander McWilliam's portrayal of an unsuspecting and outspoken new preacher." - Reading Post - May 26 2013

Ian Legge Photography

So I await with bated breath for the stimulus this week.

If you would like to attend the show then you can get tickets here. 

It is always a very exciting evening with excellent professional actors spending a day learning the words of four writers...

Join us!

On Hold - The Script

Below is the full script of "On Hold". This was a short piece written for "Off the Block" the Writer's Relay in Reading April 2012 for Reading Between the Lines theatre company.

I was given the starting point of being put on hold and had 4 hours to produce a scene.

This is available to read, download and perform. I would appreciate a message from anyone who downloads or performs it. On Hold

Off the Block - On Hold

More great photographs from Ian Legge, this time from my award winning short "On Hold". This was performed at the the start of the Writer's Relay in April.

Off the Block - The Stranger

The short play The Stranger was written on Wednesday 25th April 2012 and performed the next day at South Street Arts Centre as part of Reading Between the Lines launch event "Off the Block". Off the Block was a writer's relay, the first I have ever taken part in. It was invigorating and exciting. Great pictures from my play "The Stranger". Thanks to Ian Legge for these.